UPDATE: Waiting for the Verdict on My Mom’s Life

UPDATE:

Mom had two CT scans last week: One of her neck and one of her chest. The chest is clear of any blood clots. She has a clot(s) in her neck (as she did previously) and clotting now in her left arm.
She met with Mayo Clinic (Phoenix) vascular surgeon Dr. Samuel Money today to talk about options. Mom is scheduled for a procedure Tuesday morning to basically “clean out” the left-hand-side “pipe” and put a new stent in (replacing the same stent that was clogged & “fixed” in Denver about three weeks ago).

My Mom said Dr. Money says the issue and procedure are complicated and called my Mom’s clotting issue rare (I think due to the tumors combined with the cancer and their location). He also said he can’t guarantee anything. We know that all too well by now.

Dr. Money put the original two stents into my Mom’s chest in February after discovering her subclavian veins were nearly 100% blocked. He said then that clotting could definitely happen again at any time. It did.

I couldn’t talk to Mom very long, as she was exhausted and very short of breath. She said, “I just want something to make me feel better. All I can do is do what they say and pray for the best.”

Yep Mom, that’s really all we can do. We know she is in good hands with Dr. Money, but we also know we can’t bank on anything…even as much as we all want to.

Hope. Strength. Courage. THANK YOU for all of your continued support. It is overwhelming. Beautiful. Amazing.

More updates to come. Jen

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My heart is pounding. My hands are shaking. I can’t stop picking at my cuticles. My stomach hurts. I feel like I’m walking the Green Mile. If I feel this way, I can’t even imagine how my Mom is feeling right now.

This is my Mom, Leslie Lehrman. Well, this is what my Mom looked like last night – bloodshot eye, swollen face, veins popping out all over her body…again. Blood clots. Again.

Actually, this is not my Mom at all. This is a shell of my Mom with lung cancer ravaging every fiber of her being. This absolutely breaks my heart.

I am anxiously waiting for the phone to ring, yet I don’t want to answer it. Mom is getting a CT scan right now. She has a new tumor in her neck and obviously more clotting. But, the outcome of this scan is different. It’s a verdict.

Last night, my Mom said her radiation oncologist, Dr. Jonathan Ashman at Mayo Clinic Hospital in Phoenix, said if the clotting continues, there may not be much more they can do for her. She started radiation on July 5th to try to shrink that tumor in her neck. Due to the location of the tumor and clotting, Dr. Ashman says the situation is very dangerous.

We’ve been down this road. Mom just got home after a week in the hospital in Denver due to a clotting issue. What an absolute nightmare. The drive home was miserable, but no flying with blood clots, that’s for sure.

Back in January, Mom had two stents put in her chest, as both subclavian veins were nearly 100% blocked.

I talked to my Mom late on the 4th of July. I had a feeling she was probably feeling a bit down. She was more than “down.” She was miserable. And, she was in a different place…mentally, spiritually. This is what she told me that absolutely crushed my heart: “I asked God to help me find an answer to end this pain.”

My Mom has never said anything like that before, at least not to me. The next day, I strolled the streets of Gothenburg, Nebraska, (childhood hometown) talking to my Mom on my cell about all the “what ifs.” She said she’s not ready to go, but she certainly can’t continue living the way she is. She started crying harder, saying, “I just want to lay down on my couch. That’s all I ever want to do.”

No, this is NOT my Mom. This is what lung cancer has done to my Mom. And, no she did not smoke. You don’t have to smoke to get lung cancer. Yet, lung cancer is the LEAST funded of all cancers and the #1 cancer killer of both men and women. Because of the stigma, lung cancer has been ignored for 40+ years. This has to stop.

Just this morning, I sent out a blog post I have been working on for months. It’s an investigation into the American Cancer Society, as well as an outline of snippets from my phone interview with Dr. Otis Brawley, ACS Chief Medical Officer.

While American Cancer Society research funding for lung cancer is severely less than research funding for other cancers, Dr. Brawley told me he is “comfortable with the level of focus on research” for lung cancer and that “lung cancer has not been ignored.”

My Mom is proof of your ignorance, Dr. Brawley. The government, medical field and many cancer organizations continue to turn their backs on lung cancer. No, what they really are doing is turning their backs on beautiful people, like my Mom, who suffer and die from this monster of a disease that no one is MAN enough to tackle.

My Mom has more than “manned up.” She’s had to. It’s your turn. We will make sure it happens. We made a pact. I am still waiting to hear my Mom’s verdict. You will be the first to know.

Count on it.

Related posts:

1. 2nd UPDATE: ACS Responds – American Cancer Society DELETES My Facebook Post. Bad Move.
2. “I Just Want Peace.” An Update on My Mom’s Lung Cancer Battle
3. Update: My Mom Needs Help…Now!