(Originally written on January 10, 2009.)
My mom had her appointment with her oncologist yesterday to discuss next steps for treating the lung cancer that has metastasized to the lymph nodes in her neck. We weren’t sure what options, if any, existed, so fear of the unknown kicked in, of course.
She wasn’t scheduled for an appointment with her oncologist until later next week, but she called and he squeezed her in. I was very happy, as my trip back home was scheduled for Saturday, but now I was able to be there to play attack dog if necessary, ask many questions, and make sure appointments get scheduled as discussed.
Her appointment was scheduled for 2:45 p.m. – well, it really turned out to be 3:45 p.m. As you know, the waiting is almost worse than the news itself. So, laughter about Seinfeld episodes, how royally screwed up Larry David is (thankfully) and crazy comments my 5 year-old twin daughters have started spewing filled that long, long wait until the doc opened the door. At one point, my mom said, “I just want him to get in here and get it over with. I want to do something totally unrelated to all this cancer crap. I want to go get an iced tea and Diet Coke.”
We were told by several docs that operating to remove the tumors in the lymph nodes was not an option. Her oncologist and another oncologist she has been seeing to obtain 2nd and 3rd opinions from offered pretty much the same next selection of options for treatment. Here’s the clinical rundown:
1. Watch & Wait – (Ummm, no, not in the cards for us).
2). Radiation – They are going to determine if she can undergo any radiation in the neck area, since the latest radiation treatment already covered a portion of her neck, but not all.
3. Chemo – a chemo cocktail (not the kind she’d prefer) of Alimta and Cisplatin, a combination they say they have seen good success with. They will administer the chemo for three months (if she is tolerating it well), then run scans to see if it is working.
If it is working, they will administer the chemo for a total of 9-12 months, with scans in between, then give her body a rest for some time. One of her oncologists said some patients have continued this cycle successfully for 2 years– so we felt that was encouraging news.
Actually, one of the biggest shockers for my mom overall was the news that her radiation oncologist, whom she trusted and so appreciated his bed-side manner, had moved to another hospital system.
So, her oncologist said in order to determine whether she can undergo further radiation, SHE, my mom, would need to talk to “someone at the clinic where her radiation oncologist was, tell them the situation and have them look up your files.” Ummmm….No, not acceptable.”
I recited back to her oncologist what it was that he was suggesting my mother do. Translation: Yep, just have your mom go through the never-ending rat race that will get you absolutely nowhere, cause undo stress, and, oh yeah, do MY job for me. These types of push-off tasks my mom has received from her oncologist and other physicians is immeasurable. I know many of you can relate.
Long story short, with the help of a much-needed advocate (in this case, me) my mom is NOT making that phone call, her oncologist IS.
It was our turn, as a patient and loved ones in the healthcare system to let the doc know what his options for treatment are: Laziness is NOT one of them.
I asked the nurse, who came to talk to my mom after her oncologist left the room, if she and her staff, more specifically her oncologist, would be more influential and successful in reaching the office where her radiation records reside, as opposed to my mom making the call(s). I knew full well the answer to my question.
With a perplexed look on her face, the nurse said, “We’d never have the patient make a call like that. We would do it.” I again confirmed this is what her oncologist recommended and asked if she would get it taken care of. She did. Thank you Joan.
As you can probably tell, I’m a straight-shooter. I have no problem trying to right wrongs with people. I knew, however, that my asking my mom’s oncologist to make that call would have, most likely, resulted in absolutely nothing, like many times before (and many doctors before). Another broken promise. Going through the nurse, hopefully provided some level of accountability on her part as a nurse in general and as a part of this oncologist’s team. Wishful thinking, I know.
We’ll see, come Monday, if my mom can actually move forward with the proposed plan and some usual schedule mix-up, forgotten phone calls or lost records prevent her from doing so AGAIN.
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